Leah D'Emilio

The very first computer I remember using was the Amstrad PC – 1512 around 1990.
My uncle Jon won it in a contest at work, Highland Electronics in Toledo, Ohio (no longer in business) and brought it home for the family to use.

At that time, my older sister Gina and I were living together with my grandparents – along with Joe and Jon, my mom’s two youngest brothers – while my parents were building a new house in the suburbs. I always wanted to be the one who put the floppies in the slots, so I could push the little latches down. I guess it made me feel important. As a 6 year old there wasn’t much for me to do on that computer except to play California Games. I was a big fan of rollerskating. Gina, however, relentlessly criticized my skating strategy and made me feel like a loser, as only older siblings are capable of doing.

About one year later, we moved into our new neighborhood leaving the Amstrad behind. But soon after we moved we got some devastating news. At the age of 8, Gina was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer and would need to immediately undergo surgery, chemo and radiation. Needless to say, the excitement of being in our new home quickly dissipated when we had to make room for a hospital bed and medical equipment instead of new, normal furniture.

Gina and our family got involved right away with the Children’s Miracle Network and the Make-a-Wish Foundation in Toledo. When it was time for Gina to make her request with Make-a-Wish, she asked for an Apple IIGS and a limo ride to Mancy’s Steakhouse. Classy little lady she was.

I still remember how excited she was about getting that Apple computer. She was literally jumping up and down, screaming. I think we have that on VHS somewhere. Of all the things she could have wished for, it was an Apple IIGS. Not to go to Disneyland, not to meet a celebrity. Over the next few years, she and I would spend so much time on that thing playing Where in the World is Carmen San Diego, Oregon Trail, and writing crazy stories and songs in the word processor – Apple Works or Apple Writes? Because of her treatments, Gina also had to be home-schooled during this time, so having the Apple IIGS made doing schoolwork much easier. No more using Dad’s trusty electric typewriter.

Anyway, around this time we also started getting into Nintendo games and spent quite a bit of time playing Mario Brothers. We eventually got a Super Nintendo, as well, and Gina was particularly obsessed with the game Yoshi. She liked when the baby Yoshis hatched out of the eggs.

As some of you might already know from reading previous posts, Gina’s battle with cancer did not end the way we had all hoped it would. On October 19th, 1994, she peacefully passed away in what I now refer to as my parents’ home. Though a sad chapter in my family’s story and of my childhood, Gina and I still managed to have some good times during her 3 year fight with cancer thanks to our creative imaginations, the Apple IIGS, Nintendo games and, of course, our close friends and family members – and Spice!

When I found out Steve Jobs passed away last Wednesday, it was already Thursday here in Finland. We just got done watching the Bob Dylan documentary Don’t Look Back on Andrea’s MacBook. I had just looked up who Joan Baez was and wrote “People talk of situations/Read books, repeat quotations/Draw conclusions on the wall” on Facebook from my MacBook. I checked my Twitter stream “one last time” before bed on my iPhone 4. The first tweet I saw was from @thatdrew with the hashtag #fuckcancer. How sad, I thought. “Drop in the Sea” by Kula Shaker was running through my head while I started reading through all the Tweets about Jobs’ death. I read Jobs actually dated Baez when he was in his 20s. I read all of his great quotations. I finally read his 2005 commencement speech at Stanford. I wondered why I never read – or watched – it before.

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart…

And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent.”

My sister’s death, though tragic, became my source of inspiration and motivation to make the most out of my life. I saw at a young age how quickly and unexpectedly a life can end. Steve’s words hit home with me. His ideas about death have always been in my heart, but I don’t think I’ve ever articulated them quite so perfectly. “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.” I’ve often asked myself, if I died tomorrow would I be happy with the way I spent my last day alive? It’s a good way to keep in touch with my spirit.

It is sad the world has lost someone like Steve Jobs – and it is especially sad for his wife, children and loved ones – but what he did for the world during his lifetime is absolutely incredible. He has affected all of our lives. Not only with his passion for technology, but also with his passion for living.

My wish is that one day soon, we can stop having cancer as the “thing” that has touched all of our lives in some way. Whoever finds that cure… well, I hope they’re on this planet now and working on it…

P.S. If Gina were still alive today, I know without a doubt that she would be a huge Apple fan, owning every piece of Apple tech from the last 2 decades. Technology was just starting to get cool for us kids back in the early ’90s and she was already pretty passionate about it as an 8 year old girl growing up in Toledo, Ohio.

As for me, well, after some poor decision making during my high school and college years – buying a couple of Compaqs, a Dell laptop (WTF was I thinking?) and a Blackberry (Srsly?) – I finally regained my senses and became a Mac again. Side note: As long as Apple continues to be as awesome as it is today, I will never buy a non-Apple piece of technology again, particularly in regards to computers and phones. There’s no reason to waste your time or money thinking anything else could even come close to what Apple has perfected in creating and I hope continues to create. Steve Jobs and his team completely changed the world we live in today.

P.S.S. My grandfather still has the Amstrad PC – 1512. Apparently it still works. The picture of it above is what it looks like today in his basement. It should be noted, however, that he and my grandmother use an iPad and a more up-to-date Dell desktop computer. They actively keep in touch with their grandchildren, friends and relatives via Facebook, blog comments, and emails. They are both 83 years old. I’m so proud of them!

Tags: amstrad, apple, apple IIGS, baez, blame cancer, bob dylan, cancer, children's miracle network, computers, death, drop in the sea, fuck cancer, gina, iPad, ipads, iphone, jobs, kula shaker, life, living, macbook pro, make a wish, steve jobs, technology, that drew, tweets